Article | In Between Then and Now

by Agnes Yeboah

April, where did you go?
I know how I said goodbye to March.
I remember how I began the first day of your month
Filled with energy at the gym with your babies on a Monday morning
Now 29 days later and April you are about to say goodbye to me
I mourn you.
I placed so much hope in you.
I had hoped you’d be the month that would bring relief to my finances,
And maybe a partner to share my life
A new occupation…
I however received smiles, and four scars where no one sees.
I did not know I could be brave, afraid, hopeful, and despondent all at once and still make it to the other side of clarity.
You showed me a reflection of me that I knew not: courageous, warrior, determined, focused.
I may not have received what I had hoped for in you but your gifts that you gave I treasure.

It was a reminder, yet again, that life does not always go as I want it and it frustrated, and angered me. It still does. However, I have learned that in this road of becoming and reaching for what we desire, we are not alone.  Our stories are not that unique and different therefore support is all around us if we allow ourselves to see it. I am glad that life is not instantaneous and that there is a process; something we all need understand, and appreciate. In times of defeat or perhaps setback don’t despair, rather choose to repair. Here are some tips I have used and they have worked for me.

“I wrote the poem after I had whined, complained, and murmured in frustration at not attaining the goals I had set, not reaping the harvest of what I had painstakingly sown.”

1. Pause, breathe, and take stock of what your current state is. It can be a messy place, especially in your mind but try to carefully regroup your thoughts.

2. Go back to what you had originally planned and if need be redesign your plan to get to your desired result. I have come to learn that I need not give up on the vision, or the goal, however the steps needed to get there can change and the timelines are also allowed to change.

3. Check-in with your tribe, your family, your support system.

4. Forgive yourself, and let go of the picture you had set, the perspective you took, and the expectation you placed on yourself and others to achieve the goals you wanted and still want.

5. Trust again, smile, and step into the day knowing that all will be well. Nothing lasts forever and soon, you will be where you had imagined.

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